I SAW AN EYESORE BILLBOARD
LOVE/HATE RELATIONSHIP WITH BILLBOARDS - HATE THE UGLY LOOK, AND LOVE THE ADVERTISING
ISAWANEYESOREBILLBOARD.COM

I HOPE "MR PEABODY & SHERMAN" IS A BETTER MOVIE THAN THE LIVE ACTION "THE ADVENTURES OF ROCKY & BULLWINKLE" (I LOVE JAY WARD CARTOONS)

JAY WARD WAS A MASTER AT HIS CRAFT - IN MY HUMBLE OPINION, HE WAS A GENIUS.

HE CREATED MANY CLASSIC CARTOON CHARACTERS, WHICH LIVE ON TO THIS DAY.

JAY HAD A LOVE AFFAIR WITH HIS CREATIONS - THEY WERE ALMOST HUMAN TO HIM.

UNFORTUNATELY,  JAY'S DAUGHTER (TIFFANY) DOES NOT SEEM TO HAVE THE SAME LOVE FOR JAY'S CREATIONS

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IN MY HUMBLE OPINION, TIFFANY DOES SEEM TO  HAVE THE LOVE OF THE ALMIGHTY DOLLAR.

IN MY HUMBLE OPINION, INVESTORS WAVE MONEY IN FRONT OF MISS WARD & MOVIE CRAP IS THEN CREATED.

_________________________________________________________________________________________________

EXAMPLE OF MOVIE CRAP:
(IN MY HUMBLE OPINION)


THE LIVE ACTION MOVIE THE ADVENTURES OF ROCKY & BULLWINKLE WAS A DUD (26 MILLION BOX OFFICE.)




I SURE HOPE TIFFANY CREATES A MEMORABLE TRIBUTE TO HER FATHER'S CHILDREN - MR. PEABODY & SHERMAN.


ONE THING IS CERTAIN:

THE BILLBOARDS LOOK FANTASTIC.
_______________________________________________________________

ACTUALLY, TWO THINGS ARE CERTAIN:

THEY SPENT A FORTUNE ON BILLBOARD ADVERTISING.

MANY OF THE BILLBOARDS HAVE BEEN UP FOR 6 MONTHS.












SOMETHING THAT YOU MIGHT ENJOY WATCHING.

A MR. PEABODY & SHERMAN PUBLIC DOMAIN COMMERCIAL FOR A DEFUNCT GENERAL MILLS CEREAL.





TV TOY MEMORIES




A PERFECT BILLBOARD TAGLINE: ARE YOU HAPPY TO SEE ME, OR ARE YOU TRYING TO PUT A STARFISH IN MY BIKINI?

I THINK THIS IS A PERFECT TAGLINE FOR THIS BILLBOARD (IN MY HUMBLE OPINION.)

"ARE YOU HAPPY TO SEE ME, OR ARE YOU TRYING TO PUT A STARFISH IN MY BIKINI?"




I DON'T HAVE ANYTHING ELSE TO SAY.

WHAT IS YOUR OPINION OF MY TAGLINE?

DROP ME A LINE, AND LET ME KNOW.

IF YOU HAVE SOMETHING BETTER, PLEASE TELL ME.

I WILL BE HAPPY TO STEAL BORROW IT FROM YOU.


TV TOY MEMORIES




A BILLBOARD FOR A TOURIST LOCATION DREW ME IN - THE SPAM MUSEUM (LUNCH MEAT)

I HAVE NEVER EATEN SPAM IN MY LIFE.

IN MY TINY LITTLE MIND, IT SOUNDS HORRIBLE (IN MY INSIGNIFICANT HUMBLE OPINION.)

FOR THE PURPOSE OF THIS BLOG POST, I HAVE PURCHASED A SEALED PACKAGE OF SPAM.

I AM VERY NERVOUS ABOUT TRYING IT, BUT I HAVE TO DO IT BEFORE I POST THIS ARTICLE.
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EVEN THO I HAVEN'T EATEN SPAM, I HAD TO STOP AT THE SPAM MUSEUM.

I WAS DRIVING ON THE INTERSTATE, AND I SAW THE MOST INTERESTING BILLBOARD - IT HOOKED ME.


AUSTIN, MN IS THE HEADQUARTERS LOCATION OF THE PARENT COMPANY OF SPAM (HORMEL.)

A VERY INTERESTING COMPANY MUSEUM, AND IT IS FREE - MY FAVORITE TYPE.




THE MUSEUM HAD ITEMS THAT I LOVE - ADVERTISING MEMORABILIA.

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1940's ERA MAGAZINE AD FOR SPAM.
GEORGE BURNS AND GRACIE ALLEN




_____________________________________________________________________________________
1960's ERA SPAM MAGAZINE AD.
IN MY HUMBLE OPINION, IT IS A BORING AD. VERY BLAH!!!!




_____________________________________________________________________________________
1970's ERA MAGAZINE AD - A FAR MORE INTERESTING AD




_____________________________________________________________________________________
1990's ERA ADVERTISEMENT
GREAT AD ALMOST MAKES IT LOOK EDIBLE, IN MY HUMBLE OPINION.




THE MUSEUM TALKS ABOUT THE CRIMINAL EMBEZZLEMENT THAT A TRUSTED EMPLOYEE COMMITTED.

Ransome J, Thompson (a perfect first name for a criminal) was the assistant controller, who was given the responsibility of controlling all of the company funds (did anybody ever hear of "CHECKS & BALANCES"?) As any good embezzler does, Thompson claimed he inherited his stolen booty. Thompson claimed the development of his Oak Dale Farms was being financed by using inherited money, which supposedly came from his aunt.

Thompson built a dining room and a dance pavilion onto his farm. He also added world class farm animals to the livestock mix.

In reality, the money that Thompson was using to upgrade his farm did not come from inherited money. It came from embezzled Hormel money. Hormel always seemed to be cash anemic - Thompson stole $1,187,000.00 from the company.

George Hormel was able to convince his creditor bankers to extend his line of credit. George Hormel experienced something unlike the majority of banking customers will ever experience. The bankers truly loved George Hormel and his company, and they loaned Hormel $1 million dollars more than he asked for.

I have that problem also. Banks are always begging me to take more money than I ask for - LOL.




HORMEL ALSO MADE OTHER PRODUCTS

THEY DECIDED TO SELL BEEF STEW IN CANS - SIMPLY BECAUSE THEY HAD EXCESS CANS.

THE FEDS  HALTED A DEPRESSION ERA PROGRAM, AND HORMEL HAD 1/2 MILLION CANS LEFT OVER.

HORMEL BOUGHT THE "DINTY MOORE" NAME, AND A FAMOUS CANNED FOOD LINE WAS CREATED,

HORMEL SOLD THEIR NEW PRODUCT FOR 15 CENTS - EASY, INEXPENSIVE & QUICK FOOD IN A CAN.

I AM A BIG FAN OF DINTY MOORE STEW, AS OPPOSED TO SPAM (WHICH I STILL HAVEN'T TRIED.)




THEY ALSO SOLD CANNED OX JOINTS - YUMMY, YUMMY FOR MY TUMMY (AH, NO!!!!)

TWO OTHER PRODUCTS IN A CAN:
1) SPAGHETTI & MEATBALLS
2) CORNED BEEF & CABBAGE

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IN 1935, MOST AMERICANS DIDN'T KNOW ABOUT CHILI CON CARNE.

HORMEL INTRODUCED A FAVORITE FOOD OF MINE - CHILI.
(I CAN EAT CHILI 7 DAYS A WEEK - NOT  NECESSARILY HORMEL'S BRAND. I GO FOR A HIGHER QUALITY)
(I LIKE HORMEL CHILI, I JUST PREFER BETTER QUALITY CHILI. - HOME MADE CHILI)





____________________________________________________________________________________

HORMEL EVEN UTILIZED A FAMOUS POPEYE SECOND BANANA CARTOON CHARACTER - WIMPY.

WIMPY HAD A LOVE OF HAMBURGERS - HORMEL'S ADVERTISING CAPITALIZED ON IT.




EIGHT HAMBURGER PATTIES IN A CAN.

LIVE THE LIFE OF YOUR PET DOG AND CAT - MEAT IN A CAN




FORMER PRESIDENT / GENERAL EISENHOWER WROTE A LETTER FOR HORMEL'S 75th ANNIVERSARY.

I PUT MY FAVORITE PART OF THE LETTER IN BOLD TYPE - BE SURE TO READ IT.


DATED JUNE 29, 1966

ADDRESSED TO H.H. "TIM" COREY (FORMER HORMEL PRESIDENT)



My Dear Tim:

I have just  learned from our mutual friend, Jack Cornelius, that your company is celebrating its seventy-fifth anniversary in business.

May I offer you my heartiest congratulations.

You might be surprised to learn that I have long felt a certain kinship with your company.

During World War II, of course, I ate my share of SPAM along with millions of other soldiers. I'll even confess to a few unkind remarks about it - - uttered during the strain of battle, you understand. But as former Commander in Chief, I believe I can still officially forgive you your only sin:  sending us so much of it.

Later, as a somewhat inexperienced political candidate, I shared with you the friendship and wise counsel of your advertising agency, BBDO. I must say, I believe they had a tougher job with me than selling selling SPAM to ex-servicemen. Happily, we all succeeded together.

One more thing we have in common, - - our enthusiasm for golf. Were it possible, I would enjoy a round with you very much. But, Tim, I'm afraid you'd have to slow down your whirlwind pace a bit. I have this old "football knee" that nags me, but as a player yourself, I know you understand.

My very best wishes to you and to your company for its continuing success.



                                                                                                                Sincerely Yours,

                                                                                                                Dwight Eisenhower 
_____________________________________________________________________________________

I WAS SURPRISED TO SEE THE NUMBER OF DIFFERENT SPAM PRODUCTS THAT HORMEL SELLS.

1) SPAM with Garlic (if you really want to keep your date from kissing you.)
2) SPAM with Bacon (in case you didn't get enough salt from the SPAM.)
3) SPAM - Hawaii Style 25% less sodium (75% percent of a hourly salt mine output is better than 100%)
4) SPAM BBQ (I wonder if "W" uses this at his barbecue shindigs.)
5) SPAM - HOT & SPICY with tabasco sauce (double up with SPAM - GARLIC to really keep your lover away.)
6) SPAM with Cheese (a perfect dinner:  processed cheese, along with processed meat = processed poop.)




THEY EVEN HAVE A FROZEN SPAM PIZZA - YUMMY, YUMMY FOR MY TUMMY.




HORMEL SENT 350 TRUCKLOADS OF TOP SHELF MEALS TO DESERT SHIELD / STORM TROOPS.
(14 MILLION POUNDS - GOING IN TO THE BODIES, AND I DON'T KNOW HOW MUCH GOING OUT.)
 


SPAM IS MILDLY POPULAR IN 49 OF THE 50 STATES.

IN HAWAII, SPAM IS WILDLY POPULAR.

IN MOST MAINLAND GROCERY STORES SPAM WOULD BE FOUND ON THE TOP SHELF.

THEY MIGHT HAVE 2 OR 3 FACINGS OF THE PRODUCT, AND IT MIGHT BE 2 OR 3 CANS STACKED HIGH.


HAWAII LOVES SPAM:

SEE A PHOTO OF A TYPICAL HAWAIIAN GROCERY SHELF - MASSIVE AMOUNTS OF SPAM.

 



OK, I TRIED A SPAM SANDWICH.

HERE ARE THE PHOTOGRAPHS TO PROVE IT.



DEAD MAN WALKING
(ONLY MINUTES TO LIVE) 
(FIGURATIVELY SPEAKING, THE ELECTRIC CHAIR IS WARMING UP)




DEAD MAN BEING STRAPPED INTO THE ELECTRIC CHAIR.
(SEMI-FIGURATIVELY SPEAKING)

ONLY SECONDS TO LIVE - SEMI-FIGURATIVELY SPEAKING


A FEW BITES LATER - JUST BEFORE 911 BEING CALLED
(I'M JUST JOKING)



IN REALITY, IT WASN'T BAD.

I WASN'T IN LOVE WITH IT, BUT IT WAS ALRIGHT.

IT WASN'T AS SALTY AS I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE.

THE SEALED PACKAGE WAS BOUGHT ABOUT 6 MONTHS AGO, AND IT WAS STILL GOOD UNTIL 4 / 2014. 

IT WOULD BE A PERFECT FOOD FOR AN EMERGENCY SITUATION.
(LIKE MAYBE THE DAY AFTER ARMAGEDDON - I'M JUST JOKING)


TV TOY MEMORIES




MORE BILLBOARDS FROM THE 1950s

I HOPE YOU ENJOY THESE BILLBOARDS FROM 1949 - 1959.















TV TOY MEMORIES




I ADMIT IT, I ADMIT IT, I TOUCHED, AND LATER I TOOK BART SIMPSON'S BUTTERFINGER CANDY BAR.

WHO STOLE BART SIMPSON'S CANDY BAR?

THE LINEUP OF SUSPECTS.

1) KRUSTY THE CLOWN - (alias HERSCHEL SHMOIKEL PINCHAS YERUCHAM KRUSTOFSKI)
ETHICALLY CHALLENGED (PROMOTED A PIECE OF JAGGED METAL IN EVERY KRUSTY O's CEREAL BOX)
(30% CHANCE)

2) MR. MONGOMERY BURNS
PURE EVIL (DOES NOT HAVE A HEART - LITERALLY & FIGURATIVELY)
(85% CHANCE)

3) SIDESHOW BOB (alias ROBERT UNDERDUNK TERWILLIGER)
CONVICTED FELON (ATTEMPTED MURDER AGAINST KRUSTY THE CLOWN)
(75% CHANCE)

4) APU NAHASAPEEMAPETILON
ETHICALLY CHALLENGED (SELLS SQUISHEES AT A 10,000 PERCENT MARKUP - TYPICAL BUSINESSMAN)
(10% CHANCE) 










THE WINNER OF THE CRIMINAL MASTERMIND TITLE:

NELSON MUNTZ












NELSON MUNTZ PSYCHOLOGICAL PROFILE:

A PRODUCT FROM A  DYSFUNCTIONAL FAMILY

AN UNCARING MOTHER WHO WORKS ON THE FRINGES OF THE SEX INDUSTRY - HOOTERS WAITRESS

A FATHER WHO ABANDONED HIM, BECAUSE OF EMBARRASSMENT FROM A DISFIGURING PEANUT ALLERGY DISEASE

NELSON COMPENSATES BY STEALING BUTTERFINGER CANDY BARS - LOADED WITH PEANUTS.

HE PLANTS THE STOLEN CANDY BARS IN THE POCKETS OF HIS MOTHER'S HOOTERS UNIFORM.

NELSON MUNTZ DIAGNOSIS (NON MEDICAL OPINION)

A SICK TORMENTED MIND AT WORK - IN OTHER WORDS, A FUTURE-TO-BE GOP POLITICIAN.  






 



TV TOY MEMORIES




TRUE MEANING OF LOVE - 2 POLAR BEARS WATCHING A FULL MOON, WHILE DRINKING RUM & COKES

POLAR BEARS ARE GETTING LOVEY-DOVEY IN CHICAGOLAND

THIS DECEMBER HAS BEEN FRIGID,.IN THE CHICAGOLAND AREA.

IT HAS BEEN MORE LIKE LATE JANUARY.

I SAY THAT BECAUSE:

THE POLAR BEARS HAVE LEFT SARAH PALIN'S HOME TOWN - TOO MUCH HOT AIR FROM SARAH.

THEY ARE SHOWING UP THE HUMANS, IN THE LOVEY-DOVEY DEPARTMENT.

POSTED BELOW IS A PHOTOGRAPH OF TWO ROMANTIC POLAR BEARS.

THEY ARE DRINKING COKES, AND SINCE THEY ARE SO CLOSE TO A LIQUOR STORE - RUM & COKES.






TV TOY MEMORIES




PHOTOGRAPHIC PROOF OF SANTA CLAUS DRINKING THE "BUBBLY"



SANTA DRINKING CHAMPAGNE - NO WAY, JOSE


SANTA DOESN'T TOUCH ALCOHOLIC "BUBBLY"

SANTA IS A COCA COLA "BUBBLY" MAN.

ONLY SANTA, AND MY RELATIVES IN ATLANTA, DRINK THAT "RUST REMOVER" SODA.

YOU SHOULD REALLY GIVE PEPSI A TRY - YOU WILL LOVE IT, SANTA.

A MAN OF YOUR AGE CAN'T DEAL WITH THE EFFECTS OF COCA COLA ACID!!!!!!!!!!!!




MERRY CHRISTMAS - TO ONE, AND ALL.
(EVEN TO ALL OF THE ATLANTA COKE DRINKERS)



TV TOY MEMORIES




A COLLECTION OF EARLY 1950's BILLBOARDS - COKE, HAMM's, SCHLITZ, ETC

I HOPE YOU ENJOY THESE EARLY 50's BILLBOARDS.

















TV TOY MEMORIES




ANOTHER DOUBLE ENTENDRE RESTAURANT BILLBOARD

I LOVE DOUBLE ENTENDRE BILLBOARDS, MAINLY BECAUSE - I'M A DIRTY OLD MAN.

OVER THE YEARS, I HAVE POSTED A FEW OTHER BILLBOARDS WITH DOUBLE ENTENDRE MEANINGS.









THE LATEST DOUBLE ENTENDRE BILLBOARD:




SUBTLE, BUT WITH A SLIGHTLY NAUGHTY DOUBLE MEANING TO IT - SEX SELLS.

TV TOY MEMORIES




I WONDER IF GIORDANO'S PIZZA OWNS THE TRADEMARK TO THE PHRASE "FOR A GOOD TIME CALL ........."

GIORDANO'S PIZZA IS A CHICAGO AREA PIZZA CHAIN, WHICH SELLS  DEEP DISH PIZZAS.

I HAVE HAD BETTER DEEP DISH PIZZA, BUT THEIR PIZZA PIE IS ABOVE AVERAGE - FOR CHICAGO.

I SAY "FOR CHICAGO" BECAUSE, PIZZA OUTSIDE OF CHICAGOLAND IS NEARLY INEDIBLE.

THE PEOPLE OUTSIDE OF THE CHICAGO AREA DO NOT KNOW WHAT THEY ARE MISSING.

ALMOST PURE HEAVEN - IN A PIZZA TAKE-OUT BOX.







I'VE HAD BETTER DEEP DISH PIZZA.

THAT PIZZA WAS TRULY HEAVEN IN A PIZZA BOX.

UNFORTUNATELY, WE ARE TALKING ABOUT GIORDANO'S, AND THEIR USE OF UNUSUAL BILLBOARDS.

THE RESTAURANT CHAIN HAS PUT UP A FEW VERY INTERESTING BILLBOARDS.

 

I WONDER IF THEY ARE THE ONES WHO WRITE THAT PHRASE ON MEN'S ROOM BATHROOM STALLS?



WHAT A CORPORATE EGO - IN THEIR MINDS, A PICTURE OF THEIR PIZZA MIGHT CAUSE AN ACCIDENT.



ANOTHER EXAMPLE OF CORPORATE EGO - AN ORGASMIC EXCLAMATION USED FOR THEIR PIZZA.



ONCE AGAIN, CORPORATE EGO - OH, MY GOD (OMG), THIS IS A GREAT (MEDIOCRE) CHICAGO PIZZA


TV TOY MEMORIES




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